I puked a lego.
this boner is exhausting
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
