so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
