I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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