She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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