I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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