Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
