i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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