Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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