Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
