I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
