found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
