so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
