you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
