Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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