Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
