He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
