How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize