marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize