I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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