i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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