sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
