She's JV to your varsity
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
