As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I smell stomach acid.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
