Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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