just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize