Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
