Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
