we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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