i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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