so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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