What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
