dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
