dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
