so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
