my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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