okay pat passed out under dana's car
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
