My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
