new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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