My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
