we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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