I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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