that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
