If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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