i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
