i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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