Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
