You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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