I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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