your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize