OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
