He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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