There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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