Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
