so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
