This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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