I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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