Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
