3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
