Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
