the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
