Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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